{"id":577,"date":"2019-04-16T20:55:02","date_gmt":"2019-04-16T20:55:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/?p=577"},"modified":"2019-04-18T17:47:56","modified_gmt":"2019-04-18T17:47:56","slug":"as-god-as-my-witness-turkeys-can-fly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/2019\/04\/16\/as-god-as-my-witness-turkeys-can-fly\/","title":{"rendered":"As God as My Witness, Turkeys Can Fly"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>We live on a major road <em>in <\/em>Nashville. We could walk to the mall if there were sidewalks. We have neighbors. But, we also live in the woods with about three acres of wooded land and hillside around our house.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/IMG_2495.jpeg?fit=688%2C516&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-580\" width=\"248\" height=\"186\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/IMG_2495.jpeg?w=4032&amp;ssl=1 4032w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/IMG_2495.jpeg?resize=300%2C225&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/IMG_2495.jpeg?resize=768%2C576&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/IMG_2495.jpeg?resize=1024%2C768&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/IMG_2495.jpeg?resize=1600%2C1200&amp;ssl=1 1600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/IMG_2495.jpeg?w=1376&amp;ssl=1 1376w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/IMG_2495.jpeg?w=2064&amp;ssl=1 2064w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 248px) 100vw, 248px\" \/><figcaption>Back yard in the other direction.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignleft is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/fullsizeoutput_39c9.jpeg?fit=688%2C516&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-579\" width=\"247\" height=\"186\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/fullsizeoutput_39c9.jpeg?w=4032&amp;ssl=1 4032w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/fullsizeoutput_39c9.jpeg?resize=300%2C225&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/fullsizeoutput_39c9.jpeg?resize=768%2C576&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/fullsizeoutput_39c9.jpeg?resize=1024%2C768&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/fullsizeoutput_39c9.jpeg?resize=1600%2C1200&amp;ssl=1 1600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/fullsizeoutput_39c9.jpeg?w=1376&amp;ssl=1 1376w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/fullsizeoutput_39c9.jpeg?w=2064&amp;ssl=1 2064w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 247px) 100vw, 247px\" \/><figcaption>Back yard and beyond<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Over the years we have had a wide variety of wildlife wander through <g class=\"gr_ gr_98 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_inline_cards gr_disable_anim_appear Grammar multiReplace\" id=\"98\" data-gr-id=\"98\">our<\/g> yard.  We have watched generation after generation of deer meet, mate, and destroy my hostas and daylilies. We hear coyotes most nights especially when their pups are young. There are at least two huge horned owls who live in the trees behind us.  Happily, our last remaining dog, while small compared to the other two, is still too fat to tempt them.  They swoop between the trees, perch close to the yard, and taunt Percy.  They can&#8217;t get him, but they can certainly mess with his head. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0449.jpeg?fit=688%2C459&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-581\" width=\"449\" height=\"299\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0449.jpeg?w=1620&amp;ssl=1 1620w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0449.jpeg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0449.jpeg?resize=768%2C512&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0449.jpeg?resize=1024%2C683&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0449.jpeg?resize=1600%2C1067&amp;ssl=1 1600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0449.jpeg?w=1376&amp;ssl=1 1376w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 449px) 100vw, 449px\" \/><figcaption>One of our owls looking at Percy with contempt. Too fat to grab, too loud to ignore.<br><br><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Now that Millie, our large mixed breed, is gone we expect to see more raccoons and possums inside the fence.  She was not very welcoming to intruders and had the size and the jaw strength to eliminate any interlopers.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While we have seen a few turkey hens over the years, 2019 has been the year of the turkey.  In the early spring, there were swarms of turkey hens.  They travel in packs and we would see them all around the house, in the yard, on the driveway. They made themselves at home. For the first time, there were also two tom turkeys. I don&#8217;t know that I have ever seen tom turkeys in the wild.  They look just like your basic elementary school Thanksgiving illustration, complete with bright red necks and fully fanned tails. As will happen in nature, one of the two staked his claim on our property and these particular hens. We have named him Melvin. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0874-1.jpeg?fit=688%2C459&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-583\" width=\"475\" height=\"316\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0874-1.jpeg?w=1620&amp;ssl=1 1620w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0874-1.jpeg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0874-1.jpeg?resize=768%2C512&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0874-1.jpeg?resize=1024%2C683&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0874-1.jpeg?resize=1600%2C1067&amp;ssl=1 1600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0874-1.jpeg?w=1376&amp;ssl=1 1376w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 475px) 100vw, 475px\" \/><figcaption>Melvin<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Melvin will stand just beyond the fence and gobble at us.  Evans has perfected his turkey gobble and they will go back and forth.  Writing it down makes it sound kind of tragic, but it&#8217;s really funny and entertaining to us, and it drives Percy nuts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignleft is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0886.jpeg?fit=688%2C459&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-585\" width=\"303\" height=\"201\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0886.jpeg?w=1620&amp;ssl=1 1620w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0886.jpeg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0886.jpeg?resize=768%2C512&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0886.jpeg?resize=1024%2C683&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0886.jpeg?resize=1600%2C1067&amp;ssl=1 1600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0886.jpeg?w=1376&amp;ssl=1 1376w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 303px) 100vw, 303px\" \/><figcaption>Melvin, forty feet in the air.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0893.jpeg?fit=688%2C459&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-584\" width=\"368\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0893.jpeg?w=1620&amp;ssl=1 1620w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0893.jpeg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0893.jpeg?resize=768%2C512&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0893.jpeg?resize=1024%2C683&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0893.jpeg?resize=1600%2C1067&amp;ssl=1 1600w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/DSC_0893.jpeg?w=1376&amp;ssl=1 1376w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 368px) 100vw, 368px\" \/><figcaption>Melvin walking the branch<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Last night, we came in from dinner and could hear Melvin, but could not find him.  This is a large turkey. He must weigh thirty pounds. We finally realized he was up a tree.  Like, forty feet up the tree.  He was a bit heavy for the branch he was on.  It was like watching a fat, feathered tight rope walker moving back and forth across the sky  Evans gobbled at him and he gamely gobbled back, and, just to show off, also puffed up and fanned his tail feathers.  That probably was not the safest plan for a turkey who was four or five stories in the air, but it was impressive all the same.  Melvin hopped\/flew between branches and from tree to tree.  We kept waiting for him to plummet to the ground. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It finally got too dark to see.  We haven&#8217;t seen or heard him yet today. We are trusting that Mr. Carlson on WKRP was right after all that turkeys can fly.  I will keep you posted. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We live on a major road in Nashville. We could walk to the mall if there were sidewalks. We have&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[106],"tags":[111,112,107,110,109,108],"class_list":["post-577","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-home","tag-deer","tag-dogs","tag-home","tag-owls","tag-turkeys","tag-wildlife"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paRAVj-9j","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/577","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=577"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/577\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":588,"href":"https:\/\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/577\/revisions\/588"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=577"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=577"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trippingtheawkwardfantastic.com\/vers2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=577"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}