I was invited to visit a friend’s book club today. If you know me at all, you will be surprised to learn that this was the very first time I have ever attended a book club. I have talked to plenty. I have made arrangements with, scheduled appearances at, and even raffled off author visits to book clubs, but never have I gone because I read the book and wanted to meet the author.
Actually, I went to this one because my friend Sally asked me. Everything Sally does is excellent, so when she asks me to do something, if at all possible, I say yes. Also, she promised Brie Souffle. I saw her at church on Sunday and she asked if I had read the book. I had not, but said I would have by this morning. So, yesterday, I downloaded I Miss You When I Blink onto my trusty Kindle and dove in. It is a series of essays by Mary Laura Philpott. She is described in her author bio as an “acclaimed essayist and bookseller.” I didn’t read the book description since I was already committed, I just started reading.
Mary Laura should send her publicist flowers because this book has been reviewed everywhere. Her publicist should send Mary Laura a bouquet as well for making her job so easy. Once I saw the cover, I recognized it. I had seen it featured online and in print in sources ranging from Buzzfeed to Garden and Gun. She has endorsements from an equally impressive number of recognizable authors including Jenny Larson and Elizabeth Gilbert. Ann Patchett leads the list of author endorsements, but that makes sense since, in addition to being a gifted writer, Mary Laura works for Parnassus, Patchett’s bookstore. She has been on a full two-month book tour through April and May and has events scheduled into the fall. I always wonder if authors who have that kind of attention realize how huge a deal it is. It is a tiny, tiny number of individuals whose work connects with the media and the public in this kind of breadth and depth. I didn’t know any of this when I read the book but understood the response once I finished it.
Mary Laura is in her early forties, but the essays relate stories from her childhood, through her early married life, the challenge and joy of actually conceiving and having children, and all the relationships, friendships, uncertainty, loneliness, expectations, and joy to be found in those years when you grow into the woman you are meant to be. I was interested to learn that once she had written all the essays, she printed them and lay each out on her bedroom floor and rearranged them until they fell into a cohesive pattern.
Her writing is insightful and compelling. As a southern woman a decade or so ahead of her on my own journey, I found myself reflected in many of her pages. I used the highlight function on my Kindle for maybe the first time. One particular essay, “The Window,” I just highlighted and bookmarked the title of the chapter. It seemed simpler than turning eight pages blue.
She is funny in the way that real life is funny. You laugh with her because you were once a newlywed who didn’t understand why your neighbors were cross that your dogs woke their baby. Perhaps you too chaired a charity event in your early thirties because someone asked you to and you were so excited to be asked that you said yes. Also, like her, you never did that again.
But she is also very brave. The best writers let you into their darkness, actually pulling back the curtain that hides who they really are. When her picture-perfect life made her miserable, she was brave enough to finally say she was miserable, if all the time calling herself an “ungrateful bitch.” For the record, I would really like an Ungrateful Bitch t-shirt, size large, scoop or v-neck. I hope her publicist jumps right on that for the next leg of her book tour. I also hope Mary Laura held on to all
Mary Laura said one of her favorite comments was from readers older than herself, like me, who said: “just wait.” Which is true. Life keeps happening after your early forties. But, I think so much of who we are is made up in those years leading up to forty. If like her, we take the chance to look at our life and make choices right then, the next forty are our own. Not free of expectations and demands, but lived on our own terms.
I saw this listed among “great summer reads” and thought “hmmmm, but I already have so many books to read…”. But, based and your review, I now have it on my “trusty” Kindle.
sounds like a must read- and i have lived another life time from 40-63 – get ready MLP – the best is yet to come
Pack your bags. There’s a book tour in your near future. 😀 From my experience, at age 40, you finally stop apologizing for who you think others expect you to be.
No book tour, my book tour days are behind me. But, yes, this is who I am and I am fine with that, finally.